30 Minutes

I am sitting in my office with 3o minutes to spare.  I am thinking about all the things I have to do over the next 9 days before I move back to New York City.  And I am getting excited…actually, VERY excited!  Although my “to do” list seems really overwhelming.

If you know me in person or just read my blog from time to time, you know that I have an affinity towards New York City.  I just love it and it’s inexplicable.  I moved there originally in September 2002 to go to NYU for grad school.  I remember saying goodbye to my parents and siblings at the airport and thinking, “whoa, I’m really doing this!” I sat by a nice man on the flight and chatted with him the whole way there on the red eye.  When I arrived in NYC, I had 2 suitcases, was 22 years old and felt like I was the youngest person in the world.  Coming from California, NYC naturally felt scary and overwhelming and it took me a while to settle in properly.  I had major homesickness and felt grossly under dressed and poor wherever I went.  The first night I went out in the big city, I actually only withdrew $40 from the ATM and felt like that was a lot of money… I spent twice that amount that night alone!  That first year was tough, but it was Spring (my favorite time of year in NYC) and it clicked for me that I LOVED New York.  I would stay in NYC for the summer, work and enjoy the city.

That love affair was not a short stint.  It lasted a long time, but 4 years after I moved to New York, I felt a pull home to California.  I missed my parents and family…. and I would actually get jealous when my sisters would call me and say they spent the weekend together.  It wasn’t fair, I was so far away!  So, after a bunch of volleying in my head, I decided one night when I was laying in bed and on the phone with my boyfriend (at the time) that I would go home, get a new job, save money and be close to family.  That was the “right” decision.  Stop being selfish and move home already.  My parent’s were ecstatic!  But the decision brought me to tears.  I don’t know if it was because I was happy or excited, or what.  It was a really emotional decision for me.

Two short months later, after Craig’s Lister’s bought all my furniture, I was packed and ready to move “home” to California.  Two suitcases later and a flight later when I arrived in San Francisco it didn’t feel right.  This didn’t feel like home.

So, I’ve been here in San Francisco ever since.  I’ve had two jobs… one with the State and one with a major consultancy.   I’ve lived in 3 different apartments and have re-furnished twice.  I’ve traveled all over the world and have almost tripled my first starting salary.  I’ve been close to home and have rekindled friendships with friends from middle school, high school, and college.   I’ve also met new friends and had romantic relationships, happy, sad, good and bad.

And just as abruptly as I decided to move back to California in 2006, almost 4 years later, I’ve come full circle and am moving back to New York.  I won’t feel like the youngest girl in NYC anymore, I’ll be an experienced woman this time moving back as a newly minted 30 year old.  I do have another new job… one that requires less travel and will allow me to be home in NYC most of the time.   I’ll be going home to my old hood – the Upper West Side in a new apartment.

The past 3 years in San Fran were not wasted though… it was a great time, I had some great experiences and made a lot of wonderful memories.   And now I know SF and the Golden State will always be my second home.

Blind Date

Last week, my friend J sent me an email and asked me if I wanted to meet a friend of his, M.  M was supposedly very cool… described as: “funny, very smart, well educated, and has lived in NYC, Chicago, DC and now 4 blocks away from you in SF.”  Awesome, I thought we have a lot in common.  This would be an awesome time to meet new people and friends living in SF, since it seems that every potential love interest I have at the moment lives either across the country, in Germany or in Singapore.  I thought I did my diligence… J sent me a picture of M from an event they went to together sometime last year. M was not excruciatingly good-looking, but he was handsome with dark eyes.  J gave M my email and we exchanged a few pleasantries.  Spur of the moment last night, we decided to meet this morning at my favorite restaurant in the hood, Mission Beach Cafe for brunch.  Well, that’s about all the good stuff you’re going to hear.  If you’re opposed to hearing about me making fun of someone, stop reading now.

A Year in Review…

I’ve sadly taken an unreasonably long hiatus from my blog.  I’m not sure why, God knows I spend enough time on the internet to spend 15-20 minutes to update this thing from time to time!  As we usher in the new decade that starts with the year 2010, I’m going to use this as an opportunity to renew my commitment to blogging and sharing some of my life, thoughts, insights, and just plain silliness with you in the New Year.

So to end this year, I think I’ll just sort of recap 2009…

I don’t think 2009 was unreasonably good or bad.  I can think of some years that were amazing… 2003-2006 were definitely Peaks in my life… I was living in NYC, feeling like I was the youngest and most carefree girl in the world, in an amazing city and hopelessly in love (with two different boyfriends during that period). In 2007, I went through a bit of a Valley of despair (it’s ok to be dramatic, right?) when I left my friends and job to move to SF, got a new, shittier job, and had to deal with a sad break up.  I rallied though… and came out strong in early 2008. New job, awesome apartment, new outlook on life, no new love, but lots of loves for “now”.  Now life is just good.  Nothing to complain about at all, but nothing to get all crazy excited and happy about either!

I did go on some amazing trips this past year… January, I spent some time in Vail with some good friends, re-connected with old friends and made new ones.  It was beautiful there (my first time) and I’m so excited to go back again in four weeks!

In April, some friends and I ran my second half marathon in Central Park.  It was hotter than hell, but I finished it!  And it prepared me for my third (and best time ever) during the SF half in July that I ran with my sister Christina.

Finishers! Tracy, Me, Yasmin, and Aileen

In May, I got to see the Alamo, while doing a brief stint for work in San Antonio, TX and got to work with my good friend and homie, Will.

Tourist in My Own Town – Mt. Tam

I went to Mt. Tamalpais today for the first time ever, in my 20-some odd years off and on in the Bay Area.  I went with my good friend S and her boyfriend B and we took a two hour hike.  It was beautiful, and utterly amazing that it is literally only 15 miles outside of the bustling San Francisco Bay Area.  I’m going to cheat with Project 365/100, and post a couple of photos from Mt. Tam today.    We saw some “awe-inspiring” and breath-taking views while B navigated us all around.  I would totally encourage any nature lovers or full time urban dwellers to take full advantage while the summer is here. 

You can see the bay over my left shoulder!

Many different types of flowers along the trail and by the river

Point of View

This morning around 10 AM, I joined the joggers, dog owners, and homeless people making their way around Dolores Park.  As I approached the lawn, I saw a small crowd around a couple painted white and wearing masquerade type masks.  I wondered what they were doing as Sammy and her 2 cousins, L, E and I made our way up the lawn.

As we got closer, I realized the 2 “people” that bystanders were surrounding and photographing were not “people”, rather they were an art installation made out of the material casts are made out of to set broken limbs.  I looked at them a brief second before L and E freaked out and started barking at them.  Obviously, L and E did not like  the people or the art.

40 minutes later, I came back sans puppy but with my camera and took another second to ponder the art that graced my morning.  The “person” on the right, had a bleeding heart and was kneeling in front of the person standing.  The person standing, obviously dominant, was holding a mirror that said “It’s worth the Fight.”  My first thought was fight = war.  But there were no weapons.  I wondered if the materials the people were made of, and if they had anything to do with the message.  I wondered why the people were wearing flamboyantly colored masks.

There were two guys standing near the installation, both shirtless, one black, one white, both carrying beers.  I asked them to please move over so I could take a picture and told the guys – “there have been people here stopping to take pictures all morning.  I can’t figure out what this all means.”  The white guy (found out his name was Joey said, ”well that’s the point, [for people to think] I made these.” The other guy, said, “isn’t it obvious… LOVE.  It’s worth the fight.”